Giving Yourself Grace

Grace in Chaos

Giving Yourself Grace.

Stop and notice the little things in the moment.

What does it meant to give yourself grace?

Grace is accepting without question, accepting what it is, even when you don't deserve it or feel like it. It's giving yourself a big mental hug instead of listening to that inner critic. Essentially giving yourself the kindness you always give to others.

Is the thing you are struggling to let go of the guilt? Mom guilt? Not being good enough? I assure you - you are! Bad moms don't ask these questions.

Feeling guilty. Why? Moms carry too much guilt. That I wasn’t enough or didn't do enough because she is still struggling. I can’t fix it and I am trying to accept that, accept that I have done enough and I am enough.

I just want her home so badly, but maybe I just want me home too. Hospital stays are hard on everyone. Whatever that means or looks like. The pain is real and crippling and lonely. The anxiety and pain in my chest is so intense and heavy, it feels like I can’t breathe. What do I need? I am trying to ask myself this question more often through my day. And considering my choices rather than the never ending to do list and all the should's!

These emotions are so big to carry. I feel like I might explode. Life is never going to be easier, but I have hope that she can heal.  Showing up every day over and over is hard.  It’s hard to have the energy to be the mom I need to be. I need to heal myself too. Who am I? Healing is hard work and it looks different for everyone.  The family therapist suggested that parenting a child with trauma has been traumatizing for me. I don’t think anyone could walk away from this unscathed. So how do you begin to heal?

Here are some of the things that help me:

• Walking

• Nature

• Read

• Cry

• Write

• Pray

• Healthy food

• Water

• Sunshine

• Fun

• Connection

What helps you when life gets hard?

Sometimes life just hurts and exhausting.  I am feeling hurt like the rain drops falling on the patio outside the window.  I’ve done my very best to be the best mom I can. Stopping at nothing, always putting her first.  I didn’t have needs or I didn’t know I did. I am the mom she needs, but she needs me healthy and whole and I need me too. Easier said than done. You did not cause your child's behaviour! Children are just trying to get their needs met in the only way they know how! Keep loving them anyways.